Friday, February 22, 2008

First, Second and Third Pregnancies

I was cleaning out my scrapbook room the other day and I came across a paper that was given out at a baby shower when I was pregnant with my first baby. I had to laugh because I remember the first time I read it I was honestly a little offended because I didn't think I would EVER resort to treating my third child any different than my first (which would be like royalty, of course)... But live and learn. Sorry, Abby...

Your clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB confirms that you are pregnant.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your regular clothes ARE your maternity clothes.

The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pore over baby name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after great aunt Mavis, right? It may as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing regularly.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember the last time. Breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in the 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up your baby.
2nd baby: You pick up the baby when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3 year old how to wind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: You take your baby to baby gymnastics, baby swing and baby story hour.
2nd baby: You take your baby to baby gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your baby to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call you only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

I think the funniest part of this is that I actually came across it while I was hiding from my kids... "Crap, they found me!"


Julia said...

So I'm kind of a bad mom to my one and only child. I'm hiding from him all the time and if he cries, I secretly think "What a baby!" haha

Emily said...

It is sad but true at our home as well.

Christie said...

Its funny 'cause its true. And I hide from my kids too.

Steph said...

This is so funny and true. I am soooo guilty of the hiding from your kids thing too. There are days when I think if I hear the word mommy one more time I might lose it:)
Thanks for the laugh!

Kim said...

Thanks Anne Marie! I loved this! My favorite place to hide is the bathroom with a good book with some chocolate chips is even better!

Gina Steinagel said...

That was great and very true. Especially by the 4th...I find she gets away with so much more than the others because I'm too tired and old to care!! And the pregnancy...I had no idea how far along I was, I just new it wasn't far enough along with the 3rd and
4th...but that first I read every book out there!! That was a good laugh, and hiding from the kids is great too!! But having other siblings helps to entertain the younger ones!!

Stephanie said...

I love "3rd baby: You teach your 3 year old how to wind the mechanical swing." HAHAHA! Thanks for sharing :)

carrie said...

You're so funny. I loved reading this, and I'm embarassed to admit, it's kind of true, huh?? I remember someone telling me the binky analogy. With your first kid, if you drop the binky on the floor...then you sterilize it and give it back to him. With your second kid, you just rinse the binky off in the sink...give it back to the baby, no big deal. Then with the third just let the dog lick the stupid binky off. Anyway, I always thought that was pretty funny. You've always got something to make us all laugh. Thanks!! :o)

Jenny W said...

I LOVE it when you post!!!! I've heard that poem before and laugh every is one of the best! My favorite part is with the 2nd one you remember breathing didn't work anyway, and with the
3rd you ask for an epidural in the 8th month! Hee, hee! :) Thanks for sharing!

Annie said...

I thought I would die laughing! Wind your own swing, heck buy the battery operated one and put the energizer bunny inside for the batteries!

Hubba's Thoughts said...

Yep, that pretty much sums it up doesn't it!!! This was fun to read!! See you Sunday.

A said...

That was funny
Hiding from your kids anne marie?
Are you scared of them?

Savage Family said...

I have seen or read this somewhere before and I love it! So True!!

janae said...

This is so true! But I'm the oldest and can tell you there are definitely disadvantages to being the oldest, even if you were pampered as a baby. It's much better to be the youngest and learn from the oldest siblings' mistakes. You also get nice vacations with the parents and great quality time with them when the other siblings are gone. I'd much rather be the youngest, even if I'd have to have the dog lick off my binky (funny Carrie).

Mary said...

Seriously - stuff like this keeps me from crossing into the "third" - I know it's true! :) Thanks for the giggles.

Heidi Irene said...

That is so cute! Our poor kids...what happens to #4 and 5? I am grateful to not be so parrinod with #3, but they are all so cte and fun. I can finally let this one cry himself to sleep! (sometimes ; ) ). Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

It's so funny that while you were writing this post - you were hiding from them. Please bring all your kiddies out here when you come! They are so cute!

Andrea said...

That was awesome AnnMarie! I was laughing through all of it because it is so true. Its amazing how much you change with every baby. My sister and I was just talking about this. I'm glad I Have had four because I've changed so much for the better! Thanks for this post!

The Gatherum Family said...

So funny. I am trying SOOO hard to stay away from the "typicals" with each of my kids and their birth orders, but it is hard, not gonna lie, REALLY HARD!