Thursday, March 6, 2008

Perspective

Sometimes when life is getting just a little too overwhelming, I feel like I am blessed with a little perspective. Like yesterday, for example, I was taking Dallin to the pediatrician for his 5 year check up. I was feeling sorry for myself because I had to take Abby with me (I have to take her everywhere because she refuses to take a bottle so she is my little partner 24 hours a day. It gets exhausting). We stepped out of the elevator and there was a girl waiting there with 5 month old triplets! Wow. Abby times 3. I really honestly don't think I could do it. I was like, well, maybe my life isn't so hard. I mean, I know I would love my babies, but really. Triplets! 3 car seats strapped on one ginormous stroller... I am very grateful that my three children are different ages. Then today we took Abby up to Primary Children's for her appointment with the pediatric opthamologist (Her eyes aren't exactly on the same page most of the time. She's my little cross-eyed girl. I'm a little sensitive about it, so please don't make fun). The whole ordeal was kind of a production and when we finally got in to see the doctor he talked to us for a few minutes and then said he had to dilate her eyes and we'd need to go back out to the waiting room for at least 25 minutes before he could continue the exam. Grrrr! So I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.... why does my baby have to have crossed eyes, why do we have to spend the whole afternoon here, why why? But I decided that this might be a good time to take Abby for a walk and try to find my cousin. Her little boy has been at Primary Children's for a month because he's been having major seizures and they can't figure out why. I had the room number so I thought, I'll just wander around and if I find the room I'll stop in for a second and say hi. If you've never been there before, that hospital is crazy. I just started walking and somehow ended up on the other end of the hospital and I kept thinking, am I allowed to be here? This is nuts! I was walking through all kind of crazy places that I thought for sure only authorized people would be able to go. But somehow I ended up right where I needed to be and found the room with no trouble at all. And wow. That little boy was about the sweetest little thing I have ever seen, lying there so still with about a million tubes and wires hooked up to him. My cousin was the only one in the room with him, and I got to talk to her and give her a hug and get just a small taste of what she has been going through this last month. Oh, how my heart aches for her and her precious little boy! Suddenly, my little crossed-eyed girl didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. As I walked back through the labyrinth of hallways to the eye doctor's office I almost felt numb, I was so overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude. We waited a little longer, and then went back in and met with the doctor. The news was not what I had been hoping to hear: she needs to have surgery on both eyes. But somehow it doesn't seem so bad in light of other things. It's fixable. She doesn't even have to stay in the hospital overnight. She's perfectly fine otherwise, and I get to take her home and love her and not worry about what happens next. I feel so incredibly blessed! We'll take her back for one more appointment in April, she'll have the surgery in May, and then hopefully she'll start seeing with both eyes at the same time. In the meantime, my prayers are with my amazingly brave cousin Laura and her sweet little Samuel.

22 comments:

carrie said...

Anne Marie....What a day for you!! Isn't PCMC amazing? When Jaxon was up there a few years ago for all that time....I gained a new perspective, too. There was always someone with a problem worse than ours. I remember when we were so lucky to FINALLY take Jaxon home...I almost felt a little guilty. There were mothers there in the ICU who obviously would never be able to take their children home. It honestly broke my heart up there. It also was a wonderful place....and believe it or not, it really strengthened our testimonies. It was the first place Jason ever got to use the Priesthood....and he was able to use it a lot. :o) Anyway, I'm sorry Abby has to have surgery. I am, however, glad they are going to be able to help her. It's amazing what they can do....but it's still sad for such a little girl to have to go through that. You'll have to tell me more about it. At least you have some time to let in sink in.... If it's any help at all, I remember having an overwhelming sense of peace up there. I believed, with all my heart, that there wasn't a better hospital for my child to be in...and the doctors (and nurses) were the very best he could have here. She will be just fine. Let me know if there's anything we can do.... Maybe you'll need some company?? You let me know. Abby is beautiful, and she's a tough cookie, too. :o) Love you.

The Gatherum Family said...

Pespective is what helps us keep things in check dontcha think? I have a full-on love/hate relationship w/PCMC-such a wonderful place, but so tragic and someplace I hope to NEVER have to go with my own kids...fingers crossed...anyways, regardless of others situations, it is still a reality that sometimes your own situation isn't the best you know? I am sure things will be fine with your adorable baby. I'll be thinking of you. I am the type where I don't want ANYTHING to be wrong with my kids you know, so I can understand where you are coming from...sorry for the long winded comment...

Christie said...

Oh Anne Marie - I'm so sorry to hear that Abby has to have surgery. Does she have strabismus (sp??). My friend's little boy did, and he had surgery at the Moran Eye Center at PMC. I'm sure she would be happy to talk to you about it. He's now 4 or 5, and is completely fine, alhtough he still has to wear the cutest glasses. If you need any help, please let me know. I always have Fridays off, and I'd love to help watch your other kids so you didn't have to take them all to the appointment. Just let me know!

And isn't it wonderful to have a little bit of perspective. As bad as we may think it is for us, there is always someone worse off.

Deek said...

oh, what a good post, I almost started crying! I've had a few lessons like that since working in a doctor's office. Sometimes I think my life is horrible until I see a 540lb patient roll through the door in a wheelchair. You set such a good example for me when I hear you're off visiting the sick & afflicted. I'm so happy Abby will be able to see better & that she's ok. Love!

Cutie Pies said...

Anne Marie, I'm sorry to hear about Abby's eyes. She's such a cutie! And Carrie is right. She'll be fine. Little ones are so risiliant(?). And she won't remember anything once she's older. I often think it's so hard for little ones to go through such pains. But the Lord works miracles and it's the parent's lives that are blessed, ironically. Perspective is a good thing to get. (I wonder about those mothers that don't have that perspective.) That's definitely a blessing that you will always be able to have experienced. If there's anything I can do for you, please call or just stop by, you know where I live. We'd love to have your boys, if you need. Good Luck. Keep that newly acquired perspective and that will bless your life. You love your children and that's very apparent. And you love the Lord, that's apparent, too. Those are the most important things. We'll keep you guys in our prayers.

Lindsay said...

Anne Marie, your baby is so beautiful, I am so happy that she only has to have a simple surgery to fix her eyes, even though that is still very stressful and scary to have your little babe in any sort of surgery! But she is darling no matter what, I know I would feel sensitive too if any of my babies were in that situation.

My cousin has triplets and just that thought totally brings me back around that I'm ok and I can handle things. But I think we have every right to feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times- we are human! Just as long as we don't wallow in it and we can pick ourselves up again and move on and it sounds like you've done just that. But somedays if you just want to eat and have a pity party it's ok, in fact call me, I'll come over too! My prayers are with Samuel and with you...

Julia said...

Oh wow. I had no idea that Abby's little eyes would need work. I'm so happy that it is fixable though.

Primary makes me so sad. I can barely think of all the people that have to be up there watching their little babies suffer. When I was there (back in HS) I couldn't believe how brave all those kids were with much worse problems than I was dealing with. Now that I have a little guy myself I hope I never have to see him go through something so trying and painful.

Triplets? no thanks. But at least you'd only have to be pregnant one time. If you need any help, let me know.

janae said...

I have mixed feelings about PCMC too. I didn't have to go there with my two older kids, but I've been there several times with Brooklyn and a couple times with Max. I get major anxiety going there, but I'm so grateful we have it here. I had the same feeling that I was so blessed to be taking my baby home. Good luck with everything. I'm sure everything will be okay. The doctors at PCMC do what they do with children all day long, every day. It is nice to know they are in good hands. Although it's still SO hard. As far as perspective...it's amazing how seeing someone else's situation makes you feel like you can cope.

Steph N. said...

Thanks for the reality check. I work for my pediatrician and am always reminded how blessed I am. We have several kids that come to our office that have had that same surgery and I cannot believe the things these surgeons can do. All the kids look amazing. Good luck with your little Abby. Please keep us posted.

Jenny W said...

Anne Marie,

I am so sorry Abby has to have surgery. :( Whenever something happens that is out of the norm, with your kids, it is so hard. They are THE tenderest part of your life. I remember my doctor being concerned about the same thing with Ellie's eyes, and I was so worried, too. I know it'll all be okay. I've actually only had to go to PCMC once (with Aubree), so I know others would know better, but I am sure that they have THE best doctors there for Abby. We will keep you guys and your cousin in our prayers....Let me know when it gets closer if I can do anything. Help with Dallin and Luke, maybe, or bring a meal-anything....

Annie said...

Anne Marie,
What a small world!!!!!!! Laura lives in my friends ward! She has been reading Laura's updated emails daily about Samuel! She said the whole ward has been praying for little Samuel! She said he is the cutest little boy that she has ever seen. I talk to her everyday and she tells me how he is doing. I have been praying for that little guy too! I am so glad that both sets of Grandparents live by them!!!In fact, my friend was just telling me yesterday that Laura's husband has been waiting for over a year for his own restaurant and they have been living with Gparents while they wait. She said isn't it amazing now that this is happening with Samuel that a restaurant hadn't come available for them yet.Because one hasn't come up for him, they are right there with grandparents to help with the other kids! Blessings in disguise! I hope they figure out soon how to help him and that he will be okay!!!

As for your sweet little girl, I am so thankful that Dr's can do so much! I told you I had eye problems that weren't fixed and that I am self conscious! You are a wonderful Mom!!! She is so lucky to have you! Make sure you let me know when the surgery is! I will bring you dinner or something! I'll pray for your little sweet one too!
Love ya Anne Marie!

Williams Family said...

You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I think you have such an amazing talent with your writing & I hope that you continue to let us be a part of your world. I know what you mean about putting your life into perspective but I also think that you should know that others look at you as being brave & wishing that they had your strength. I am glad to hear that the dr. can help your sweet little girls eyes. Isn't it a blessing to have dr.'s that are so intuned & have so much knowledge in their field? Keep us updated on everything & our prayers will be with Abby when she goes through her surgery. Hopefully you will have a fun, stress-free weekend.

a-anderson said...

I think you always have a great perspective on things. I am so sorry that Abby has to have eye surgery. I know what you mean about being a Primary Children's Hospital. I had to take Cole there every month while he had his helmet on. I always felt bad when I saw all the other families and we were really only there for cosmetic reasons. Triplets-I just could not do it. Even twins would be too much for me. One at a time is good for me.:)

Kim said...

Oh, what a hard day you must have had. I'm sorry. In the midst of everything that was going on with your cousin, her little guy, and Abby, you were sensitive to the Spirit. You allowed yourself to be taught by the Spirit and the Lord about perspective. I know this is a lesson that I continue to re-lean quite often. My thoughts and prayers will be with your family. Hang in there.

Nate & Jilleen said...

Anne Marie,
I haven't been blogging very long and came across yours a couple weeks ago. I haven't ever commented, but thought I would since your experience has touched me. With Samuel being so sick and not knowing what the next day will bring we (his aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) are constantly counting our blessings and cherishing the moments and each other a little bit more. The love and support given to Samuel, Laura, Roy and their girls is amazing. Thank you for visiting them. I know they appreciated it.

I am sorry to hear your sweet baby has to have surgery. No matter how "minor" it is, it's still scary. But isn't it so great to live in a time and place where we can have access to the medical attention we need? We are truly blessed. Thank you for the reminder.

-Jilleen

Heidi J. said...

I am sorry that you had such a hard day. I have a neice that had to have that same surgry but hers was because she was shacken by her babysister. everything will go great. primary childrens is awsome when it comes to stuff like that. let me know if I can do anything

Andrea said...

AnneMarie, what a day! Thank you for the reminder though to be grateful for what we have! But sometimes it is ok to feel like everything is so hard! You are such a great mom and I know the surgery will go fine! I wish the best for your cousin!

Heidi Irene said...

Anne Marie-- Your little Abby is absoulty beautiful! You have nothing to be sensitive about. She is an angel-- really! We are so blessed aren't we? I am so grateful for inspired doctors that can help us out when we need surgery. She will do great! I wish I had the perfect thoughts to leave with you, like you helped me a couple weeks ago. Just know I am thinking about you and little Abby, and thankful we can be friends thru blogging! :) *HUGS*

WeTheTeeples said...

Anne Marie,
I wish I could make things better. I am praying for you and sweet little Abby. PLEASE, PLEASE call me if you need ANYTHING! I can be over in half a second. ok maybe a minute. :) And your boys are always welcome here. THey are so cute!

Hubba's Thoughts said...

Okay, where's the tissue?? What a nice post and a much needed reality check ALL of us need! Let me know if you need anything with the surgery and everything. You're such a good mom and I know everything will be fine! You are so sweet and I've enjoyed reading your posts and getting to know you a little better through them. Have a great day!! Call if you need anything.

Joy said...

Anne Marie I know how you feel. It is so hard hawling kids around sometimes. I am so sorry about your little girl. No surgery is fun even if things will be better. Hang in there. Let us know if you need anything.

Julie said...

Hey there, I found you on Jileen's blog and thought I would visit. I loved your perspective post bacause I feel it too. Here I am complaining about my sick kids (ear infections, etc) and then I think about little Samuel and brave Laura and I just want to kick myself for being so whiny. I cannot imagine what they are going thru but I sure think and pray for them a lot. Good luck with your little girl